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Relationships are great when they work!
Would you like something better…finding out who I can trust.
Have you ever tried to find someone you could talk to about something on your mind and heart? If you tried to find someone when you were in high school or even earlier, you quickly discovered that you should trust no one. Maybe it was your best girlfriend, and you told her not to tell anyone that you really had a crush on a certain boy in your class. Only to go to school the next day to find out that everyone knew about it. And for most females, this has been a pattern your whole life. I have found that most females, as adults, do not have one close friend that they can tell anything to, knowing no one else will ever find out. And if you have a friend like that, you are blessed.
I remember in a college psychology class, the professor asked if anyone had a friend that they trusted with everything, and only 4 people raised their hands. He said that studies showed that those 4 were different than those in the study because the study showed the answer to be 0 friends that could be trusted.
I’ve never met a guy that said they had problems in high school with finding a friend they could talk to. I’m not sure why that is but I did find many guys, that once becoming an adult, they became very protected and really never shared their deepest darkest feelings.
What are our fears? If they really got to know us, they wouldn’t like us? Would it keep us from being promoted at work? Would I lose my job if anyone knew about my past? Only you know your fears about trusting someone.
I discovered early after marriage, that I was dealing with problems that I didn’t understand. But I was in a profession that a divorce would have caused me to lose my job. So, I lived for years, struggling with a horrible relationship that I could do nothing about. I had been raised in the church and talked to a pastor that attacked me for having problems. I told him I was having problems and before I could even explain what the problems were, he had already condemned me and never let me speak. Because I realized there was no one I could trust, I just let the pain increase. Then I decided that I’d be better off and so would everyone around me if I just wasn’t alive any longer.
I left work early, telling my supervisor that I was sick, and drove out to the country. I laid out in a field and told God that I had no reason to live. I didn’t want to live, and I didn’t want to die. And I had no one to talk to. Lying there, I asked God why I should keep living. I was sure He felt like the preacher I had talked to and He too felt I was not worth helping. After telling God that I had nothing to offer Him, I heard Him say, ‘just let me love you’. “But God you lose as You will be doing all the giving to me, and I have nothing to give in return. Just let Me love you.”
I finally found someone that I could tell everything to, and He still loved me. He has never disappointed me and has always been there to listen and speak to me. You may ask, is it in a voice that He speaks? It’s in His Word, through music, through others that know Him and through my quiet time with Him when I am still, knowing the heart of my best friend.
So let me share how I came to know Him as my Lord and best friend.
Proverbs 3:5-6, ‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.’
Philippians 4:6, ‘Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God.’,
Jeremiah 17:7, ‘But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.’
1 Peter 5:7, ‘Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.’
You can find a best friend in Jesus. He is always willing to listen, and He is always with you.
After never finding anyone, I could trust to talk to, I asked God to make me the person, to others, that I never found. He has done that. I have had the blessings to help thousands of people through counseling and through friendships. And my prayer for you is that you will find something in these lessons that will help make a difference in your life and in your relationships.
(C) J Douglas
Justan and Bree