Man Rules

Posted on by creatingloverelationships_0xbehf

At last, a guy’s taking the time to write this all down. 

Finally, the guy’s side of the story. We always hear ‘the rules’ from the female side. 

Now here are the rules from the male side. 

These are our rules!  Please note, these are all numbered ‘1’ ON PURPOSE! 

  1. Men are NOT mind readers. 
  1.   Learn to work the toilet seat.  You’re a big girl.  If it’s up, put it down.  We need it up      and you need it down.  You don’t hear us complaining when you leave it down.
  2.        1.   Sunday sports: It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides.  Let it be.
  3.    Crying is blackmail.
  4.    Ask for what you want.  Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!  Strong hints do not work!  Obvious hints do not work!  Just say it!
  5.    Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
  6.    Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.  That’s what we do.  Sympathy is  what your girlfriends are for.
  7.    Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument.  In fact, all comments
    become Null and Void after seven days.
  8.    If you think you’re fat, you probably are.  Don’t ask us.
  9.    If something we said can be interpreted two ways; and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
  10.    You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done.  Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 

  1.    Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
  2.    Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
  3.    ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.  Peach, for example, is a fruit,
    not a color.  Pumpkin is also a fruit.  We have no idea what mauve is.
  4.    If it itches, it will be scratched.  We do that.
  5.    If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing’, we will act like nothing’s wrong.  We know
    you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
  6.    If you ask a question, you don’t want an answer to; Expect an answer you don’t want to
    hear.
  7.    When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine…..Really.
  8.    You have enough clothes.
  9.    You have too many shoes.
  10.    I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
  11.    Thank you for reading this.  Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you
    know men really don’t mind that?  It’s like camping.